The ND Sportsbook: Conference Semis Edition

First off, we'd like to let everyone who won bets with us last time but have yet to receive payments know that your money is safe and sound. We've reached a deal with the Department of Justice to allow payouts on February 26th, 2013 from 8:35pm to 8:38pm. Please hold off on any requests until that time.

Now that the legal mumbo jumbo is out of the way:

The highly anticipated 2nd round of the NBA playoffs is hours away! And what better way to make your viewing experience even more exciting than placing some money on the exotic bets below:

During Game 6 of the Spurs/Grizzlies series, a rather unlikely alley-oop occurred between Greivis Vasquez and Darrell Arthur. Which of the following odd alley-oop pairings will happen in the next round?
  • Lebron James to Joel Anthony: 25-1
  • Shaq to Troy Murphy: 80-1
  • Rodrigue Beaubois to JJ Barea: 200-1
  • Jason Collins to Zaza Pachulia: 250-1
  • Derrick Rose to Derrick Rose: 300-1
In which game of the Bulls/Hawks series will the Hawks quit on their coach?
  • Game 1: 10-1
  • Game 2: 5-1
  • Game 3: 2-1
  • Game 4: 1-3
  • None, as player/coach Josh Smith has them extra motivated this year: 45-1
During the Miami home games, fans ironically chant "MVP" to Joel Anthony while he's taking foul shots. Which similar chant will Jeff Green hear from Celtics fans when he's on the free throw line?
  • "D-P-O-Y": 5-1
  • "Ainge is a Genius": 8-1
  • "You Fat Fuck": 15-1
  • "Larry Bird": 25-1
  • "Akron Loves You": 40-1

Not that we condone such action, but if there were objects thrown at Mark Cuban while he is in attendance at a Lakers game, what would they (hypothetically) be?
  • Sushi Rolls: 2-1
  • Crumpled up $100 bills: 4-1
  • SAG cards: 10-1
  • Screenplays: 25-1
  • Tickets to "Lopez Tonight": 100-1
The Memphis Grizzlies' arena DJ delighted the NBA Twitterverse by playing the opening riff of Danzig's "Mother" during a Memphis possession. Which off-beat musical choice will be played in Memphis in honor of Oklahoma City coming to town?
  • The Kinks "Oklahoma, U.S.A.": 5-1
  • Mastodon "Blood and Thunder": 8-1
  • The Flaming Lips "The Sound of Failure": 10-1
  • The Sonics "Have Love, Will Travel": 25-1
  • Theme Song to Thundercats: 70-1
How many meetings will David Stern have with NBA game officials in preparation for a Lakers vs. Oklahoma City/Memphis Western Conference Finals?
  • One: 1-2
  • Two: 3-1
  • Three or more: 6-1
  • None, David Stern trusts the refs to call the series fair and without bias: 500-1
That's it for now. Stay tuned for the NBA draft edition of the Sports Book, featuring over/unders on the phrases "Tremendous Upside Potential", "He's Very Long", and "He Already Has An NBA Body".

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Kirk Krack said...

"cons: Lacks basketball ability"

Kelly said...

Jeff Green is not walking through that door!

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